I just watched my autistic brother, Jared, spank my husband with a wooden spoon...– That made my day. He’s such a good sport for putting up with me and my nutty family.
Never ever get your oil changed at Wal-Mart
Wednesday, instead of draining the oil, Wal-Mart drained my transmission fluid, tell me they only lost a quart of it and if it starts running funny to get someone to put some more in it (All of this took two hours instead of the 20 minutes they said it would take, by the way). Today, Jonathan and I take it to get some more fluid put in it, and there is none in the car. That’s right. NONE....
Amy vs. Books-A-Million
Emily: Aside from Justin, I think I love Books-A-Million more than anything in the world. I don't know, Amy might be right up there.
Amy: Thanks, I'm glad to know I'm above your favorite store.
Emily: I didn't say you were above it. I said you were with it. If I had you in one hand and Books-A-Million in the other, and I had to drop one of you off a cliff, I would probably choose to drop Books-A-Million, but the whole time we were there—on the island or cliff or wherever we are—I'd be complaining to you about how much I miss Books-A-Million.
My Friend the Funeral Director
Disney Store Man: You should apply for a job here in the Disney Store. You'd be perfect for it.
Emily: Thank you, but I'm a mortician, and I think I'll stick with that.
Disney Store Man: Well, if ever die up your way, I'll pay you a visit.
Me: Jared, it's time to go to bed, ok?
Jared: Yes ma'am (Yes, he calls me ma'am. Not sure why), can I talk quietly to myself in my room?
Me: Yes, you can.
Jared: Good night, Caley!
Man I've missed that kid.
Photographer captures the end of the rainbow on... →
Some Favorite Chapel Quotes
Every day at 10:30 a.m., Freed-Hardeman students and faculty gather in Loyd Auditorium for a chapel service. Whether the point is humorous, informational or serious, something can be pulled from [almost] each and every one. Below are some of my favorite quotes from the fall semester. Not that I was there, but I like them, nonetheless. “We didn’t just want things in America to be good;...
Today is “Make Up Your Own Holiday Day” here in the U.S. I’ve seen this coming for a few days now, and I tried to think of a great idea for a new holiday to celebrate today. I decided I should probably settle on something like “Eat Your Weight in Chocolate Lucky Charms Day,” since that’s what I’ve been doing the past few days anway (They’re magicaly...
Note to self:
Just becuse breathing makes you cough does not suggest that opting not to breathe is a good idea.
From TNT's "Trust Me"
Conner: Put down ‘good communicator’.
Sarah: Then I’m just going to get some guy that always wants to talk about his feelings and ick.
Conner: Yeah, feelings. Most women want men to talk about their feelings...
Sarah: No. Some women also like to talk about themselves.
Conner: OK, so write down ‘good listener.’
Sarah: Sorry, I’m looking for a man.
Conner: You'll still get that considering that all men of this species are incapable of listening.
Hubert Davis looks like Scooby Doo
Jonathan: Scooby Doo isn't a Great Dane. I think he was just some made-up dog breed.
Me: No! He's a Great Dane!
Jonathan: How do you know?
Me: It's just a given. Scooby Doo is a Great Dane.
Jonathan: Wikipedia it, and see if it says anything about him being a Great Dane.
Me: clicking through a few times...
Jonathan: Just click Apple F and type it in. You don't have to read the whole thing.
Me: That's what I'm doing. I'm counting how many times the words "Great Dane" are in the article.
Jonathan: How many?
Jonathan: Yeah, but Wikipedia is unreliable...
Spring Break 2009 Pictures →
Why would you want a yappy dog? I don’t get it. I don’t understand...– Jonathan, regarding our neighbors’ obnoxiously yappy dogs.
Me: What are you doing?
Dad: Watching a DVD on turkey hunting.
Dad: So I'll know how to hunt turkeys when I go on Monday.
Me: Since when do you hunt turkeys?
Dad: Since I saw one on our property the other day. I need to hunt them now.
He Always has Food on the Brain
Jared: Hey Mom, what states does I-75 go through?
Ma: I don't know, Jared. What states does I-75 go through?
Jared: Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, KFC...
Ma (laughing): What? What states does I-75 go through?
Jared: I-75 goes through Florida, Georgia, Tennessee and KFC
Jared: No! Kentucky!
At Girls' Night
Me: Adrian and Lee. They both have... have... oh, what's that word? They both have names that can be for a boy or a girl.
Jess: Yeah, I guess they do.
Me: What is that word?
Me: Yes, that's what the word means, but that's not the word. I keep wanting to say asexual, but that's a form of of reproduction.
Jess: I keep wanting to say bisexual, but I'm, uh, pretty sure that's not it.
At home two hours later...
Me: What's the word for something that can be male or female?
Jonathan: Hermaphroditic? No, that's not right.
Jonathan finally got it. The magic word is androgynous.
It’s Friday! Fiction Family’s remake...
What is that guy doing? He has a net, and he’s scraping the algae or...– Jonathan
Jud: I'm going to church.
Me: It's a little early, don't you think?
Jud: No, it's like lunch.
Me: Always an hour before it's supposed to be.
Jonathan: He'll be in bed by 7.
At an FHU Budget Meeting
HR Guy: Can you think of any kind of auxiliary enterprises that we could implement to bring in more revenue?
President Wiley: No.
President Wiley: Nothing that would be appropriate.
Laughter ensues as Dr. Wiley realizes how we took that as he takes off his glasses and blushes.
President Wiley: Whew...
Conversations at Lunch
Our office’s lunch meeting was canceled today, but Jonathan and I already had our tastebuds prepared for our weekly dose of Los Portales, so we went to eat there anyway, just without the company of the five other members of our office. Somehow or another, our conversation turned to books, and I told him how much I wish my mother would write a book. Whether it’s actually published or...
It Actually Snowed →
Just a few snow pictures
For the lack of creativity and effort in my photos lately. I’ll try to do better.