Pressed for Time

Just Temp jumping off an eight-foot wall.

I’m a cat person. In saying that, it doesn’t mean I’m not a dog person, per se. I love dogs; I’m just too lazy and fickle to make the commitments a dog requires. I’ve always had cats; cats are easy. But aside from thr fact that they come pottytrained and bathe themselves, there a few other benefits to having a cat. The first is the obvious: Cats, of course, catch critters, as Temp so valiantly displayed just a few weeks ago. The second greatest benefit I wasn’t aware of until the first time I didn’t have a cat when I was 22 and living alone: You can blame any strange noise on a cat. That creek down the hall? Oh, I’m sure it was just the cat. When I didn’t have a cat and realized that creek had to be something — or someONE — else, well, I went and got a cat. Problem solved. Even if Freddy Kreuger himself were down the hall, at least I wouldnt’t have to anticipate my demise. And since cats spend every minute of their waking days (about four hours, max) being mischievous, it usually actually is the cat.

Anyway, tonight, I kept hearing strange noises in the walls. I walked around the house to make sure it wasn’t another sketchy guy knocking on our upstairs neighbor’s door yelling for “Ryan”. I checked all four of the rooms in our house, but I never found anything and figured I was hearing things.

About five minutes after I settled back down, a loud thud, followed by a crashing noise came from the vent system, right beside the couch Jonathan and I were sitting on. While Jonathan and I are trying to convince ourselves it’s just a mouse (you know it was a scary noise when you’re actually crossing your fingers that it’s “just” a mouse), the Wondercat goes to investigate. Jonathan and I watch in curious terror as the cat smells the probably two-inch space between the unit and the stone fireplace, and a giant paw with SIX TOES comes out of it. That’s right. SIX TOES.

Don’t tell Jonathan I told you, but he danced like a little girl when he saw it.

Then, it meowed.

Anyway. No mouse, no sketchy guy, no frat boys across the street. The noise was a cat in our wall. Our upstairs neighbor’s cat, Cassius, to be exact.

We’re still not completely sure how he got there, aside from figuring out that he got into our basement earlier today when we accidentally left the door open this afternoon, but there he was.

And that brings me to another benefit of having a cat: He dusted our vent for us!